The Bad with The Good

When uprooting your life as you know it and finding the courage to start anew, you want to believe only the best about wherever you're going next. It's not just a desire, it's an absolute necessity to paint the sunniest side of the picture and to share that sunny vision with your friends and family.
So what should you do when something less than desirable about your newly adopted location is made known to you? Your first instinct is to not tell anybody about it. It only gives your friends fodder to add to their "Don't Go" chant. It may plant a nagging seed of worry in your plans. Moving's hard enough--you don't need to add even a pinch of doubt to it.
And so, I thought I was just going to bury the news. Pretend I didn't hear anything. But then I realized that, in fairness to this particular blog, it should be posted here. Because after all, this is supposed to be about "Trials and Tribulations," not "The Supreme Happiness Of Living In a Teeny Tiny Western Town."
Both of these news items appeared in The Norwood Post this week. The first one is minorly disturbing, but with a comic edge which qualifies it as a "quirk" of backwoods life. The second is just undeniably, blatantly, scarily wrong.

1.) "Norwood Resident Released On $60,000 Bond": One of my soon-to-be-new neighbors had a gun that he really, really liked: a 9 mm P89DC Ruger with special grips. “A beautiful gun,” he said. (Red light #1: Probably everybody in Norwood will own at least one gun, except me.) Some co-workers stopped by his house one day, bringing along 2 shady characters with them, and the gun disappeared. Despite admonitions from his buddies at the local bar The Hitchin' Post (Red light #2: This is where I'm bound to meet my future husband), he decided to pursue the thieves himself, and when he found them there was a confrontation. (Go figure.) Here's where it gets good--a play-by-play of what the man was thinking when he saw the thief with a gun in his hand: "Newman said he wasn’t about to get shot with his own gun, which was loaded with Black Talon bullets, bullets so deadly they have recently been banned. Newman knew what those bullets would do to human flesh, so he pulled his .44 caliber Ruger Redhawk revolver." (Red light #3: Logic may not preceed action when guns are involved.) Then there's a whole 'nother incident which is too long to relate, but which ends up getting the "victim" arrested. And so here's the kicker to the whole story, which I just love: "In the eight years he’s lived in the area, James Newman said he has never locked his doors. He felt safe for two main reasons: because he lives in a quiet, law-abiding place; and because he if anybody tried to break into his house, they’d have to face down his Super Blackhawk .44 or his Remington rifle.
But after Sunday, the police searched his home and took all his guns, and the run-in shattered his sense of security. Now he locks his front door, his back door, and even his gate. 'I’m worried, damn right I’m worried,' said Newman. 'I’m left defenseless. If these felonies go through, I won’t be able to hunt anymore.'"
Yeah, I'm worried about him not being able to "hunt" anymore, too.

from a site called Firearms Tactical, here's 2 rules that Newman probably should have followed to keep out of jail:
4. DISPLAY YOUR GUN, GO TO JAIL. Expect to be arrested by police at gunpoint, and be charged with a crime anytime your concealed handgun is seen by another citizen in public, regardless of how unintentional or innocent or justified the situation might seem. Choose a method of carry that reliably keeps your gun hidden from public view at all times. Before you expose your gun in public, ask yourself: "Is this worth going to jail for?" (I don't think James asked himself this question.)

5. DON’T LET YOUR EMOTIONS GET THE BEST OF YOU. If, despite your best efforts to the contrary, you do get into some kind of heated dispute with another person while you’re armed, never mention, imply or exhibit your gun for the purpose of intimidation or one-upmanship. You’ll simply make a bad situation worse -- for yourself (see rule #4). (Again, James, you might want to reread your "concealed weapons" rules.)



2.) "Parents Censor High School Literature and Are Allowed To Burn Books They Find Offensive": A teacher at Norwood High assigned the novel "Bless Me, Ultima" by Rudolfo Anaya. The book is about a young man learning to bridge cultural gaps and questioning his religion. Some parents said it was full of profanity and pagan references. "The parents approached the superintendent and asked that they be able to burn the books instead of the school janitor destroying them. Conder granted them their request, as he has the right to dispose of them."
At first I thought this was a joke. I kept checking my calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st already. But no, this is horrifyingly true. What fucking century are you living in, people??? Did you ENJOY the Nazi regime??? Are these your fucking morals??? Don't promote MULTI-CULTURALISM or FREEDOM OF RELIGION??? Jesus Fucking Christ!!! (Please excuse my language.)

Kudos to the students of Norwood High for protesting their parents' idiocy. Here's another article about it in the Rocky Mountain News. (Upon closer investigation, it's been revealed that only 3 people are actually responsible for this atrocity--John & Rhonda Oliver, and the superintendent, Bob Conder. It looks like the majority of the town is going to rally against the censorship. Whew! Another funny sidebar--it's one of the 9 novels recommended by Laura Bush. That's a hoot!)

The true irony: The very next story was lauding the local librarian for keeping the library up and running for 25 years.