What's In a Word: Bravery For Ordinary Folks

I tend to think of bravery on an epic scale--Oskar Schindler rescuing 900 Jews from Nazi-infested Europe, 4 young African-Americans sitting down at a "white" lunch counter in North Carolina in 1960, or the Tibetan monks and civilians attempting to defend their religion against an invading Chinese army. So I've been very surprised to find people applying that adjective to me. When I talk to people about my move, they invariably say, "You're so brave to be doing this." I never know how to react to this statement because to me there is no fear involved, ergo no bravery to be summoned. To me it's just the right thing to do. I feel like somehow I must be irresponsibly misleading people if they think I'm brave--I have done nothing extraordinary to deserve such a high honor.
"Fearless, 1973"

The next thing people say is, "I could never move somewhere all by myself." So this, perhaps, is the real demon of human existence--people are scared of making life changes without the crutch of another. Separation terrifies them.

I understand attachment. I get emotionally attached to people and animals at the drop of a hat, but I've never been one to not do something simply because no one else wanted to. If I had spent my life waiting for someone to join me, I would have never gone to France when I was in high school, or to San Diego for college, or shown up in Telluride in 1991 for the film festival. What wonderful people and places I would have missed!
"Fearless in France, 1987"

So to those of you who think I'm brave, I humbly thank you, but I feel the praise is misplaced. Please believe that you have just as much access to that strength as I do. It's just a matter of following your heart.

I'm in Telluride right now and things have been going well for me this week. I secured a great place to live--3 bedroom, 1 bath, backyard, big kitchen, and 2 living rooms! There's more than enough room for me, my 2 cats, 2000 books, and as many beloved friends and family members as possible. (And visitors will definitely help take the lonely sting out of the bravery!) I also started learning film projection (something I've wanted to learn for years) in preparation for one of my new jobs at the esteemed Nugget Theatre.

And I was so happy when I got my Colorado plates the other day that I just wanted to walk around town showing them to everybody. (And don't think I didn't!) I feel like a life I've dreamed of living for 15 years is finally blooming. I wouldn't call it a consequence of being brave, just a lot of good fortune.
"Fearless in Telluride, 1993"

Topanga Canyon, May 10, 2005

It snakes and twists
In its own natural rhythm
Antithetic to speed

It starts low
Then goes high
And meets the sea

It is my guilty pleasure
on days I don’t mind
Being late

Not as spectacular
as Malibu Canyon
but it shines with its own
Enchanting Beauty

Home to Froggy’s and Viggo,
a Santa Fe boxcar,
Hidden Treasures,
and the last remaining hippies

Radio waves cannot pierce
the thick canyon walls,
leaving the singing
To the birds

The wet winter
Has turned the red rocks
Wooly
With a hundred shades of green

Spots of purple and yellow
A little orange
Ending in the endless blue
of the Pacific.

It leaves you with
A Choice:

South to the center of capitalism, a return to “mankind”

or

North to the beautiful coves of Ventura, calling the free spirit.